I remember being 8 years old, I had the huge Optimus Prime truck complete with trailer and accessories, I loved it and the 1986 movie was one of my favourites (and still is). Skip to 2007, the new live-action Transformers movie was out and I for one was not happy with what they had done to my beloved childhood heroes. They looked completely wrong and the characters were not as they were in the TV show (perhaps Optimus Prime came close at least).
2009 brought about the sequel; Revenge of The Fallen, the first movie had done terrifically in box office sales and seeing as there was nothing too questionable or offensive to my childhood in the last movie (I had forgiven the slight character changes by then) I welcomed the sequel. Opening to big box office sales and damning reviews across the board, from both critics and fans I avoided this movie in the cinema, until one stormy night I succumbed to my morbid curiosity and put on a DVD of possibly one of the worst sequels of all time, and that is truly saying something.
Transformers: Dark of The Moon is directed by Michael Bay (Bad Boys, The Island), starring Shia LaBeouf (Eagle Eye, Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps) and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (Victoria's Secret catalogue). Sam (LaBeouf) is suffering from the recession like the rest of us and wants to prove himself to his parents (yes they're back too). Sam lives with his impossibly beautiful girlfriend Carly (Huntington-Whiteley) who works for multi-millionaire Dylan (Patrick Dempsey; Valentine's Dy, Enchanted) who just so happens has his sights set on Carly, much to the disgust of Sam.
Meanwhile, the Autobots are fully allied with the US government and helping them in their international relations against the Decepticons (Team America F*** Yeah!). On a dangerous mission to Chernobyl, the Autobots come across an undiscovered weapon and soon find a long lost friend along the way, but all is not as it seems.
After Revenge of The Fallen, many had come forward and said that the film was a total mistake (Shia LaBoeuf mainly), the parting of Megan Fox was seen as a blow to the franchise and yet for those who realised she cannot act, this wasn't a total loss. Michael Bay searched high and low for a worthy replacement until finally doing a Victoria's Secret advert and settling upon the vast acting void that is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. This movie is not really about reliving a childhood fantasy of a well loved cartoon and toy franchise on the big screen. Nor is it really about good versus evil, it isn't even about big robots beating seven bells out of each other. Transformers: Dark of The Moon is about teenage boys, and their obsessions, which Michael Bay still holds very near to him still, and is not afraid to show the levels of depravity that a teenage boy's mind will sink to in what should be a family film.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a model, a beautiful girl and her chosen profession has been to exploit that beauty for all it's worth. Her chosen profession should NOT and EVER BE acting, Michael Bay chose an actress who is completely devoid of any emotion and acting ability. She makes Megan Fox look like Meryl Streep in comparison and yet Michael Bay thinks he can divert our attention away from this by using shots that the British tabloid press have been using with every young girl in a short skirt for years.
Shia LaBeouf of course, has no such luck with distracting his audience away from his acting, or lack thereof. His 'comedic' turns are painfully drawn out, particularly a few scenes where he does a bad impression of Dr Strangelove and the jokes never get better. The supporting cast of John Malkovich, Frances, McDormand and the returning John Turturro (for little to no reason whatsoever) add a little for those who are actually interested in movies and acting however their roles are so weak and uninspiring that they could have easily cast lesser known actors and saved a little of the budget.
The Autobots and Decepticon characters are yet again ignored in favour of metal-on-metal action as their increasingly violent actions towards each other will make parents wonder how an adult rated movie could get away with it, let alone a children's film.
Michael Bay, Shia LaBoeuf et al are disappearing from the Transformers franchise but they're mark is indelibly stamped onto it. A reboot of the franchise seems unlikely, seeing as they'd have to redesign all the robots again and again make them completely unrecognisable to all who loved them in the first place but stranger things have happened. A major change in tone would be nice but at the same time it would jar the existing franchise out of recognition and as it may gain a few fans it could possibly lose the ones the existing franchise has. Unfortunately I fear the only way forward for this franchise is doing exactly what is already being done, albeit with slightly less violence, misogyny and in some cases, casual racism. I'm going to go and play with my toys now.
0 comments:
Post a Comment
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.